In case you missed it, Christmas is in a few days. This year may look very different the previous years. You may not be able to travel to see family. You may have family members who are not able to come see you. Or you may be experiencing anxiety as you prepare to spend time with your family. Will you be exposed, or could you expose someone to COVID? Will this be the last year with a beloved family member? Will you fall back into dysfunctional ways of interacting with family members? Will the holiday live up to your expectations? Maybe you’ve lost your job this year and are wondering how you will find the resources to get gifts for your family. Maybe you are struggling with paying the rent or mortgage and won’t be able to do a “traditional” holiday this year. Whatever it may be, please know that it is perfectly ok to struggle with anxiety right now.
If you’ve read any of my previous articles, you know there are tried and true methods for dealing with anxiety. If you’re struggling today, I would encourage you to go look at those again. It’s also very important that you give yourself some grace. But what exactly does that mean? Grace is ultimately about acceptance. It’s accepting that things are hard right now. It’s accepting that you are feeling worried and sad. It’s accepting that things aren’t going exactly how you envisioned they would go. This acceptance is what I mean when I say give yourself grace.
What are some practical steps to showing yourself grace? First, recognize when you are being especially hard on yourself. Are you beating yourself up for feeling down? Recognize that. Then change how you are talking to yourself. Oftentimes when you stop and check in on your self-talk, you’ll find that you are being overly harsh towards yourself. Maybe you find yourself saying “What’s wrong with me? I need to get over this. I’m pathetic,” or something like that. Instead, try speaking to yourself with kindness, as you would speak to someone else struggling. This may sound more like “I’m feeling worried today. That’s ok. Lots of people feel worried during the holidays. This will pass.”
A second practical step for showing yourself grace is to focus on gratitude. While things may not be the way you wish they were, what is one thing you can be grateful for today? Be intentionally grateful. Go for a walk and admire the fresh snow. Pay attention and be grateful for your favorite cup of coffee or favorite snack. Look at the things around you an intentionally be grateful for these things. Doing this will help you find joy and acceptance in those things that you normally wouldn’t even see.
I hope you can enjoy the upcoming holiday with loved ones. If you are not able to, if the holidays will look somewhat different then in years past, if you will be alone, please be kind to yourself. Start now. Ask yourself what one thing are your grateful for. Then, begin to speak to yourself in a kind manner. Give yourself the gift of grace this holiday season.
To Healthy, Hope, and Healing
Krista