It’s Valentine’s Day today. What better time to talk about love? Valentine’s day reminds us of how much others love us. For some people though, it can be a really difficult day. But I have a secret for you—you don’t need someone else to love you in order to have peace and happiness.
A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about the positive impacts on our mental health and wellbeing when we practice self-compassion. Have you read it? If not, I encourage you to go check it out. What science has shown us is that it is vital to show yourself love and compassion. We know that self-love and compassion is a protective factor against mental illness. It can help you reach goals, feel happier, and help you navigate challenging times in your life. Let’s face it, we all face challenges. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to bounce back from challenges quickly?
Back to the Valentine’s thing. Why is Valentine’s day hard for some people? One reason is because people that lack self-love and compassion look to others (or their career) for their sense of self-worth, security, and validation. When you do this, you set yourself up for massive failure. Am I saying that having a partner is a bad thing? Absolutely not. What I am suggesting is that by relying on someone else to make you feel good about yourself risks your wellbeing.
Here’s why. Even if you are with the absolute best person on earth, they will eventually let you down. So, what happens to you when your partner lets you down? You suddenly begin questioning everything about yourself. This can lead to a serious episode of depression and/or anxiety.
If you practice self-love and compassion, you will place your self-worth on internal factors. This is much healthier for you in the long run. Also, let’s take a second and look at how self-compassion positively impacts different areas of your life. If you’re showing yourself compassion, finding your worth from who you are (not other people or your career), you are happier, secure, and healthier. Imagine how this would affect your career, your friendships, your romantic relationships, your parenting, your mental attitude, and the list goes on.
Today I would encourage you to ask yourself these questions.
- Am I overly critical of myself?
- Is it hard for me to acknowledge positive things about myself?
- Is my sense of love, peace, happiness, and safety dependent on my significant other, family members, or friends?
- Do I rely on my career or other external factors to help me feel happy?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, I would highly encourage you to begin implementing some self-compassion and self-love. Don’t know where to start? Click here : self compassion worksheet for a FREE worksheet to help you begin a few small, daily habits to increase your self-compassion.
To Health, Hope, and Healing,
Krista
To Health, Hope, and Healing,
Krista
Wow! I needed this today. I don’t really have compassion for myself. I wonder why? I realized while reading it that I do look to other people to make me feel happy. 🙁 I’m going to try this worksheet. Thank you.